sometime this week with all the extra time i have on my hands i was stumbling around the internets and found a website, the name of which escapes me now, that was giving out free advice- some of it more useful than others. but one of the things hit me really hard as this is the first father's day for me in 8 years where i will spend my day really celebrating instead of celebrating memories. i digress.
the advice said 'marry someone whom, if you have a son that grows up to be just like him, you can be extremely proud and happy'. this being ben's first father's day, having two kiddos when last year he had none, and getting closer every second to having his third, a son, i kept thinking about this. and truly and honestly i cannot think of one thing where if all our children grew up to be just like ben i would be disappointed. except maybe all his alien food allergies. i have never met a more patient, disciplined, hard-working, and loving father and my sweetest moments now are not when i have a great morning with the girls or when benny gets the hiccups - but when i see him with the kids. personally i think the easiest part of being a parent is playing with them - acting silly or bouncing them around. the hard part is all the stuff that goes unseen - the extra trip back to the grocery to get bananas, taking the time to explain to saida WHY she can't play in the dog dish rather than just saying no, the time spent pointing out extra things on the pages of the story he's reading them rather than just reading the words, the ways he tries to figure out how to make hilina's therapy fun so she doesn't cry through it... and all of these things are time as an ingredient. the hardest part for me about becoming a mom was realizing that MY needs don't really matter too much anymore when it comes to the day to day, that the girls come first. and sometimes i handle it more gracefully than others. but ben, ben never ceases to amaze me - the sheer effort he puts forth on a daily basis to make sure that we are all cared for and loved and that he does it all without complaint. sometimes i even feel like i want to be like ben when i grow up.